


Supernatural The Untold Story.

by Bunnylordofdoom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, ITS CRACK, M/M, Nothing more, and a gift, for my brilliant anna, i dont advise reading it, its probably bad lol, so i can touch her booty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2683601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnylordofdoom/pseuds/Bunnylordofdoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this as a gift to the lovely Oz_the_Magician because she wanted something along these lines and I wanted to touch her booty. It's crack and it isn't really that consistent but it was fun to write. It's Supernatural as told my Michael's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Supernatural The Untold Story.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oz_the_Magician](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oz_the_Magician/gifts).



> You have been warned. Here in lies pure crack. " " equals talking ' ' equals special angelic mind communication wooooo~

Everyone had these grand assumptions about angels. God’s mighty warriors, the protectors of humanity, blah blah blah. It was all utter bull. They were just a species that had existed long before the creation of man, like many other species. How was it their fault if the humans started worshiping them? 

 

Michael gazed down at humanity, watching how they stumbled and struggled to survive. Personally Michael didn't see the attraction in these… squishy, meaty things that smelt strange. However, there were others of his kind that did not share his outlook. 

‘Brother Michael!’ A blue light materialized beside him and joined consciousness with him. ‘You must come and see to Lucifer, he is at it again.’ Michael’s form trembled slightly in what could be considered angelic annoyance. 

‘How many times do I have to tell him to quit spying on the future? Father doesn't like it…’ Yes, I can hear you all crying ‘If god is real then other aspects of religion be truthful as well!’ no shut up, you’re a human and silly. Everyone has a creator. 

 

Michael left his position and sped off to where Lucifer was grossly misusing the gifts their father had given them to spy on the future of humanity and of course the usual argument ensured. ‘Why must you always disobey Lucifer?’

‘Why not?’ Lucifer’s white presence zipped around him, ‘besides I’m not really disobeying. Father told us to love them so why can’t I love them in the future?’ 

‘Don't lie to me’ Michael whipped out and hit Lucifer with his grace, ‘you do not love humanity. You despise them; so quit whatever it is you’re up to.’ Michael could have sworn he saw Lucifer’s wavelength change slightly but that would entail an emotional response, something his brother lacked entirely. 

‘Hey!’ Another bright presence materialized beside the two and zipped round them excitedly. ‘Bros, amigos! Lets go have some fun! Can we Michael? Lets go… I don't know lead a war or something. Humanity is interesting!’ Michael felt his being condense as an impending grace implosion threatened to consume him. Michael would never understand his own species. 

 

Flash forward a few centuries and some very bad human translations later this thing called the bible came into fruition. Once again it was not very accurate, but hey the humans tried. Now according to the bible Lucifer rebelled because Lucifer was scorned by his family and told to kiss humanities feet basically. So Lucifer created some demons, killed a few people and got locked in hell. 

Simple, but wrong. 

So very wrong. 

 

Michael could remember the argument like it was yesterday. It might as well have been yesterday, time didn't pass for angels as it did for man. 

‘You can’t continue like this!’

‘Why not?! I love him!!’ 

‘He doesn't even know you! He doesn't even exist!!!’ 

‘Well he will!’

‘And what you’re going to make sure he only loves you. You cannot mess with humanities timeline like that. It isn’t right.’

‘If this love is wrong then I don't want to be right!’ 

‘You leave me with no choice….’ 

‘Apparently.’

Michael let out a long sigh and watched as a storm picked up across the Pacific Ocean as a result. Humanity was a fragile thing. Michael reached down and guided a ship out of the storm’s wrath. Watching as the little ants called humans scrambled to keep their fickle little lives. Michael’s family had been torn apart because of them and sometimes he wondered if the world would be a better place without them.

Still, Michael still found joy in the simple things like granting life to a newborn child that would otherwise die or saving a family from impending death. He knew he shouldn't, after what occurred with Lucifer all access to humanity had been cut off. However, Michael guessed that, like his brethren humanity innately fascinated him. That and Michael had to keep an eye out for his brothers meddling. Now that Lucifer had the demons on his side, it was only a matter of time until he broke out of his cage and started putting his plan into action. 

It would be the end of the world for some humans if that happened. 

Well one in particular. 

 

You know Michael was a reasonable multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. He had followed his father’s orders basically to a tee. He had kept an eye out for the other species that occupied his home, he’d allowed the demons and ‘monsters’ to exist without purging them all and he’d also set his rebellious brother up with a pretty sweet cell. 

Lucifer had books, paper, a lute because that was his jam and a endless supply of arts n crafts. It kept him happy. It was weird but hey, Lucifer was batshit bananas anyway. 

In retrospect giving a raging psychopath arts n crafts was probably a bad idea, but you know live and learn. Soon enough Lucifer had found a way to contact the surface and set his plan into action and Michael was left trying to rally an ‘army’ to hold off the impending apocalypse. Somewhere along the line Michael supposed his words got a little scrambled. The angel radio was more like a game of Chinese whispers and what had started off as ‘Do whatever you can to stop the apocalypse’ somehow made it to ‘Do well in opening cans of asparagus.’ And somewhere before that ‘Do whatever is needed to start the apocalypse.’ Go figure. 

 

Then there was the Winchesters. Oh sweet merciful Uriel there was the bloody Winchesters. If anyone had a knack for being used as puppets by supernatural forces it was that family. Sam and Dean Winchester; legacies in their own right and masters of the art of sheer dumb luck. Those two, with the aid of dear old Daddy Winchester and a deal gone wrong with Momma Winchester led to the end of the world. It is what it is, despite Michaels best efforts to send in people to Hell to save both Winchesters who had a fascination with leather jackets. The first angel gave up, mostly because it was too hot in Hell and the poor light cloud could hear Lucifer screaming in his ear the most obscene things. So he just quit. Angel’s name was Thomas, poor Thomas. Retired to Tahiti. 

The next angel Michael sent succeeded… sort of. Blasted angel was too late of course. Michael just had to pick the angel with a terrible sense of direction and an attention span of a guinea pig. Castiel gripped the Righteous Man (name granted courtesy of the bible) tight and raised him from perdition. Michael wasn't sure that using tongue was necessary to the rescue attempt, but he’d given up on trying to stop fraternizations between angels and humanity. Honestly, angels were like rabbits when it came to the bedroom. 

 

And if that wasn't bad enough, things just spiraled down hill from there. Demons wanting to lead Sam towards hell, Castiel never picking up his angel phone so to speak and the constant eyesex between Michael’s trusted Garrison leader and the Righteous Man. It was a train wreck and Michael wasn't sure what to do next. So he took a small holiday. Went and visited Pluto, it was quiet there now it had been debunked as a planet. 

When he returned all hell had broken loose. Literally. Lucifer was free, the end of the world was happening and Castiel still would not answer his phone. Michael supposed he should have realized Lucifer would succeed eventually, the bastard was more possessive than a flesh eating bacteria. So now it was time to do damage control.

 

Vessels were a funny thing, they were necessary to an angel when integrating with humans, but they were so squishy and loud. If Michael could he wouldn't use one, but that resulted in many eyes burning and ears bleeding and apparently that was a bad thing. So instead he was stuck trying to convince the Winchester with serious daddy issues and a bad case of repressed sexuality to let him ride shotgun in his brain. 

Yeah no, it didn't go down well. Michael even gave it a cool label. ‘The Sword of Michael.’ Cool labels usually attracted humans, but not this simple idiot. He just wanted his car, his booze and his new edition of Busty Asian Beauties. 

Michael then decided to adopt a new tactic. He visited Lucifer’s cage briefly through a path could only be used. Michael just wanted to see if his brother was still three cents short of a dollar so to speak. Three seconds (human time) there and he was mentally scarred enough to know Lucifer needed to be stopped at all costs. Thus leading to the recruitment of the Forgotten Winchester; Adam Milligan. 

The kid was nice enough. Missed his mother, like most Winchesters and had died once already, like most Winchesters. Also unfortunately like most Winchesters Adam was armed with an extravagant amount of this dumb luck. 

 

However, after some unnecessary bleeding on the Winchesters behalf and some more angelic miscommunication Michael found himself seated nicely in Adam’s skin. And after explaining the situation to him the two had worked together to track Lucifer down. Everything was going rather well up until that damn Dean Winchester and his ‘Free Will’ squad had arrived. 

It was shortly after their arrival that Michael exploded, courtesy of Castiel, the guy who never answers when you call unless you’re a bowlegged wonder with a bubble butt. Only then Castiel exploded and to cut to the point there was a lot of angel chowder on everyone. 

 

Basically when Michael really came to he was trapped in the single most disturbing place he could ever imagine. The pit. Why Sam Winchester had pulled him in here he’d never know, but he’d also never forgive him. Ever.

“Oh Sam, we’re finally together at last!” Michael sat up and glanced around himself as his eyes came back into focus. 

‘What is he doing?’ Adam’s voice chimed quietly in Michaels, well Adam’s head, and Michael groaned. 

‘Hugging himself.’ The two watched from Adam’s eyes as Lucifer spun Sam’s body round in circles and hugged his arms tight across his chest. ‘He’s… always wanted to do that.’

‘What?’ Michael turned his head around slowly, stretching as he got to his feet. All around him was drawings of Sam, poems about Sam, hymns dedicated to Sam’s beauty. There was even busts of Sam in the corner that Lucifer had crafted himself. ‘Where the hell are we?’ Adam sounded scared and quite frankly Michael was a little bit too. 

‘The Pit. It’s where we locked Lucifer up. For…. Reasons.’ The two watched as Lucifer stroked Sam’s hair and nuzzled his own hand. It was nauseating. 

‘Are you telling me Lucifer started the apocalypse because he’s in love with Sam?’ Michael nodded as he examined some of the more ‘creative artwork’ on some of the walls.

‘Love is not a strong enough word for what Lucifer feels towards Sam Winchester.’ This section was apparently dedicated to the many women in Sam’s life and the creative ways Lucifer wanted to dispose of them. ‘Sam Winchester would not have existed if not for Lucifer. He created him solely because he wanted him all for himself.’ 

‘You’re joking. Please tell me you’re joking.’ Michael glanced over at Lucifer/Sam who was currently making out with his own hand. ‘You’re not joking.’

“Lucifer you ass.” Michael strode over to his brother and socked him right in the face. “Are you happy now?!” Lucifer’s hand shot to his face to feel the bruising that would result from Michaels blow.

“Don't. Touch. My. Sam!” Lucifer sprung to his feet and tackled Michael/Adam and the two fought for what must have been 50 years. Adam and Sam respectively napping and zoning out while the two angels crossed blows. Eventually the two angels came to a compromise where neither would come into each other’s half of the pit and neither spoke to each other. 

 

Michael spent most of his time meditating and talking with Adam. It was… interesting. He’d never had the chance to speak so first hand with a human and he came to the realization that they were not all brainless apes. Most of them were, but not all. Much time passed and when Michael next came into consciousness it was because of a tremendous amount of screaming!

“NOOOO GIVE HIM BACK TO ME! DON’T TAKE MY SAM. DEATH GET BACK HERE!! BRING HIM BACK!!!!” Michael watched as his brother’s form charged at the walls of his prison, burning the paper on the walls and shattering many of the clay creations. “I WILL END YOU. I WILL END YOU ALL!!! SAM IS MINE, MINE YOU HEAR!” 

“BROTHER CALM YOURSELF!” Michael attempted to reach his very distraught brother, but to no avail.

“GO SUCK A GOAT MICHAEL! YOU SONOFABITCH DEATH I WILL END YOU, YOU HEAR ME!” Michael let out a long sigh, thankful that he could protect Adam from witnessing such an ungraceful outburst and went back to meditating. This tantrum would pass as they all did. 

 

Who knows how much later, Michael opened his eyes and was greeted by nothing more than a quiet muttering. He let out an exasperated sigh and made his way over to where Lucifer lay cradled in a pile of grace, whining. 

“You’re being a child.” A smile tugged at Michael’s mouth as he reached down and picked up his brothers form. “You can’t force a person to love you Lucifer, I’ve always told you that. You certainly can’t create someone just so you can possess them.” Lucifer remained silent and Michael stroked a hand over his gracely being. “Where is the vessel you brought down here the first time?” Lucifer remained silent and Michael repeated the question.

“I don't want him.”

“Lucifer.”

“He’s not Sam.”

“Lucifer!” 

“Fine! Fine, I’ll go change…” Two seconds and Lucifer reappeared wearing whosever skin he’d stolen centuries ago. 

“What his name?” Lucifer beamed at him, that cheeky and almost scary smile.

“Samuel.” Michael found himself flinching but Lucifer seemed a little happier. 

‘He’s messed up’ Apparently Adam had woken up. ‘Seriously messed up.’

‘Yes. He is, but he is also my brother.’ Michael walked over to where Lucifer now stood staring at his ruined creations. “You can make them again brother.” Lucifer let out a small nod and plucked a sketch from the wall. 

“I just wanted him to be mine.” 

“Sam is his own person.” Michael placed a firm hand on his brothers shoulder, “You cannot own him Lucifer. Come, if were are to spend and eternity together you should at least meet Adam.”

It was quite apparent that Samuel was now long departed from his body, unlike Adam. Therefore the three spent the next couple of years developing a system that would allow them to somewhat cohabit peacefully. There was still the 10-year war that happened because Michael could not stand the sheer amount of time that Lucifer insisted he needed to babble on about Sam for. This then led to a rather interesting compromise. 

 

‘What about a contract of some sort.’ Adam’s voice broke Michael out of his meditations. He had been reliving Adam’s 10th birthday. 

‘For what?’ Michael could feel Adam rolling his eyes in the back of his mind.

‘For Sam’s biggest fan over there.’ Both glanced over at Lucifer who was currently making a collage out of pictures he’d drawn of Sam. ‘A sort of ‘designated talk about Sam time.’’ Michael hummed in thought. It could work, that is if Lucifer agreed to it. ‘We can even call it a Samtract.’

‘We’re not calling it that.’ Adam laughed and it brought a smile to Michael lips. By now he was quite fond of the human named Adam. 

“Lucifer… I have a proposition for you.” 

‘A Samtract.’

‘No’

‘Yes’

“Fine. My apologies brother, a Samtract of sorts….” 

Look at that. This now concludes our story on the origins of Sam Tuesday. The one day of the week the archangel Lucifer is permitted to babble non-stop about a human named Sam and everyone in the pit and some parts of hell must listen.

**Author's Note:**

> You were warned. Hope those who did read it enjoyed it XD


End file.
